Susan Parker
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412 pages of exact lines, cabins and real prices, written large and plain, so 2026 is the trip you pictured.
412 pages, 246 entries. About 15 cents an entry.
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412 pages, 246 entries, PDF + EPUB. Tap a page to read it full size.
| Cabin | Book at | Note |
|---|---|---|
| Interior | $78/night | No window; quietest, cheapest |
| Oceanview | $96/night | Fixed window, no fresh air |
| Balcony | $142/night | Worth it on scenic routes |
| Obstructed balcony | $118/night | Lifeboat view; big discount |
| Mini-suite | $188/night | Room to spread out |
| Aft cabin | +$20 | Best wake views, books first |
| Mid-ship, low | base | Least motion; pick if prone to seasickness |
| Under the pool deck | avoid | Chairs scrape at 6am |
| Above the theater | avoid | Bass until 11pm |
| Guarantee rate | lowest | They pick the room, not you |
| Solo cabin | varies | No single supplement |
The Master Cabin Chart, page 214. Every cabin tier on one page.
The linked contents. Every entry has a number, so the guide can point at itself.
Four causes, and they are distinguishable by exactly what you booked.
Cause 1 — Older hull, smaller footprint. Ships built before 2005 run interiors near 150 sq ft. Newer builds give you 185. The deck plan lists square footage; read it before you pay.
Prevention: filter by square feet, not by photo. Under 160, expect tight.
A Diagnosis entry: the cabin felt cramped, and the four causes it can only be.
Every entry stands on its own and points to the ones beside it, so you can open the guide anywhere.
What every cruise line is really like, who it suits, and the one mistake that spoils the trip.
Every tier, every deck, and the exact rooms to avoid on each class of ship.
When to book, when prices drop, and how to get onboard credit without asking twice.
What the fare truly costs once gratuities, drinks and excursions are counted.
When a cruise disappoints, this tells you why by exactly what went wrong.
Ports, tenders and mobility notes, plus a 142-term glossary and a 680-term index.
🔒 Instant download after checkout, both formats · one-time payment
We saved almost $600 on our Alaska balcony just by booking the week you said to. First time I felt in control of the price.
The cabin-location pages alone were worth it. No more thumping over the theater at night. Wish I'd had this years ago.
Finally something written big enough for me to read without hunting for my glasses. Plain and clear the whole way through.
I never understood cruise pricing until this. Now I book like I actually know what I'm doing. Thank you, Susan.
Notes left by Susan Parker's newsletter readers, quoted as they were written.
One payment, and all of it downloads at once. Beside each part is what it costs when you buy it the usual way, from an agent or off a shelf.
Every part, every chart and every table, searchable on a phone and printable at home. A print travel guide runs about $40 in hardcover and covers one region.
The text reflows for a phone or an e-reader, so it stays readable one-handed on deck. No extra charge and no second download to hunt for.
What every line is really like, what a cabin should cost, and how to book it. An hour with a cruise travel agent runs $150 and covers one trip.
Complete sample bookings with the price broken down line by line, and fixes filed by what went wrong, not by cause. A planning session runs $90.
The Master Cabin Chart, pages built to print and keep in a folder, a glossary and a full index. The Cruise Cheat Sheets sell on their own for $10 at this checkout.
$150 for an hour with a cruise travel agent, $90 for a planning session, $40 for a print guide in hardcover, and $10 for the Cheat Sheets at this checkout. Real prices, checked August 2026. The EPUB is not counted.
412 pages and 246 entries for $37. That is about 15 cents an entry, paid once.
Buy Now · $37🔒 Instant download after checkout, both formats
Nobody has to call an agent, and nothing here expires. $37 once, about what two cocktails cost on the top deck, and there is nothing else to pay after it.
$37, once, through Stripe, the same checkout the big stores use. I never see your card number.
On the very next screen, about thirty seconds later. Phone, tablet or computer, PDF and EPUB both.
The same link goes to your inbox, so you can open it again any night you plan. Nothing ships, and there is no account to make.
Email me within 30 days and every dollar comes back. There is nothing to send back and no form to fill in.
No, nothing ships. It is a 412-page file in two formats: PDF for the charts and printing, EPUB for a phone or e-reader. Both open about thirty seconds after you pay, and the same link goes to your email so you can never lose it.
No. If you can open an email and tap a link, you can open this. It works on any phone, tablet or computer, and the print is large and plain on purpose, so you can read it without squinting.
No. It is $37, one payment, and there is no account to make. Stripe offers one optional extra at checkout, the $10 Cruise Cheat Sheets, and it is unticked unless you tick it.
Every price and itinerary was checked in August 2026, straight from the lines' own booking pages and port schedules. Where a line changes its pricing, the guide shows you how to check the current fare yourself before you book.
Email susanparkercruises@gmail.com within 30 days and every dollar comes back. There is nothing to send back and no form to fill in.
🔒 Instant download after checkout, both formats
246 entries, PDF and EPUB both, on your phone about thirty seconds after you pay. One hour with a cruise travel agent runs $150.
Buy Now · $37